Beat the Streak Report: April 7
BTS headquarters received quite a strange and humorous phone call yesterday afternoon.
It’s unclear how the caller — who refused to give a name — located our unlisted number. But he did, and then demanded to speak with the person in charge of “that streaking game.”
The Vice President of Nude and Scantily Clad Programming was out of office for the day, so we assumed that meant us.
“So, uhh, I had a streak of like two, and then I didn’t make a pick yesterday, and now my streak is at zero,” he said.
“Yes, and …”
“So, uhh, I think the game is broken.”
To avoid future conversations like the 10 awkward minutes that followed, we’re going to make this as clear as possible:
To keep your streak alive, you must make a BTS pick every single day.
If you do not, your streak will return to zero. And you will be a zero.
We assume that 99 percent of you fully grasped this aspect of the game. For those who didn’t, no need to keep Googling “bts support number so lonely”. Also, Jumpstart Picks! Magic!
(Make a BTS pick)
Oh, hello there …
• Dexter Fowler: .571 AVG (8-for-14) since ’06 vs. Pirates starter Paul Maholm
• Troy Tulowitzki: .500 AVG (8-for-16) since ’06 vs. Pirates starter Paul Maholm
• Marco Scutaro: .440 AVG (11-for-25) since ’06 vs. Indians starter Fausto Carmona
• Hanley Ramirez: .467 AVG (7-for-15) since ’06 vs. Nationals starter John Lannan
• Joe Mauer: .412 AVG (7-for-17) since ’06 vs. Yankees starter A.J. Burnett
Feeling kinda spicy?
• Edgar Renteria: .481 AVG (13-for-27) since ’06 vs. Astros starter Brett Myers
• Jack Hannahan: .500 AVG (6-for-12) since ’06 vs. Red Sox starter Jon Lester
On the Milk-to-Habanero scale of spiciness, picking Jack Hannahan against Jon Lester rates a very respectable Tabasco Sauce.
You’ll thank me later …
• David Wright: .133 AVG (2-for-15) since ’06 vs. Phillies starter Roy Halladay
• Brandon Phillips: .158 AVG (3-for-19) since ’06 vs. Astros starter Brett Myers
• Manny Ramirez: .143 AVG (2-for-14) since ’06 vs. White Sox starter Edwin Jackson
• Mark Teixeira: .188 AVG (3-for-16) since ’06 vs. Twins starter Francisco Liriano
Seven games — good for you! If you can keep the mojo going for three more days, you’ll be only 47 days from $5.6 million cash money.
Top MLB streakers
Howard Kendrick: 6 games
Buster Posey: 6 games
Jose Tabata: 6 games
(Make a BTS pick)