With only seven games scheduled, today’s slate is light even for a Thursday.

You know what that means: The sharks smell blood in the water. Your streaks are bobbing around helplessly in a vast ocean, and any number of catastrophes could befall them.

We’ve sent out some lifeboats below, but it’s up to you to swim over and climb in. Oh, and we guess there’s always the Coast Guard-helicopter-rescue “Holliday option.” But we could never endorse such a maneuver.

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Thursday’s picks:

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Oh, hello there … 

Johnny Damon: .563 (9-for-16) since ’06 vs. Mariners starter Felix Hernandez

Albert Pujols: .571 (4-for-7) since ’06 vs. Giants starter Jonathan Sanchez

Carlos Beltran: .429 (6-for-14) since ’06 vs. Pirates starter Paul Maholm

Jayson Werth: .500 (4-for-8)  since ’06 vs. Diamondbacks starter Zach Duke

Andrew McCutchen: .444 (4-for-9) since ’06 vs. Mets starter Mike Pelfrey

Feeling kinda spicy?

Chone Figgins: .370 (10-for-27) since ’06 vs. Rays starter James Shields

You’ll thank me later …

B.J. Upton: .056 (1-for-18) since ’06 vs. Mariners starter Felix Hernandez

Jose Tabata: .000 (0-for-7) since ’06 vs. Mets starter Mike Pelfrey

Neil Walker: .125 (1-for-8) since ’06 vs. Mets starter Mike Pelfrey

Leaderboard time!

Current leader jsmnapoli became the sixth Streaker to reach 28 games this season, inching one day closer to campaign kings buddycrise and jngmz733 in the process. Also one day closer: $5.6 million in U.S. currency.

Top MLB streakers 

Ryan Theriot: 15 games

Hunter Pence: 13 games

Chase Headley:  11 games

Mike Morse: 10 games

Jhonny Peralta: 10 games

Home Run Beat the Streak pick:

Josh Hamilton: (1 HR this season) vs. Indians starter Carlos Carrasco

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Two months down, four to go. Streakland stormed into June in style last night, nailing the pick six and advancing over 40 percent of all gamers in the process. Old friend Michael Young led the way at 11 percent, followed by Mark Teixeira (8.5 percent) and the rejuvenated Chase Utley (6.6 percent).

Did our personal season-high streak fall by the wayside at nine games? Sadly, yes. Did we violate one of our own cardinal rules by picking OBP-machine Miguel Cabrera in hopes of breaking double-digits? Let’s go to the videotape:

Streaklaw 4.13.c: “Whilst protecting a streak of high integrity, thou shall not deign to select a base-ball player who assumes the first base on four balls with elevated frequency.“

All Streaklaw is all written in Ye Olde Medieval English, so you know it’s legit. In the vernacular, that rule means you should probably avoid rolling with Walkosaurus Rex when all the Tostitos are on the line. Cabrera last night: flyout, strikeout, intentional walk, walk, intentional walk.

Ohhh, Ron Gardenhire, you done did it now.

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Wednesday’s picks:

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Oh, hello there … 

Carlos Gonzalez: .611 (11-for-18) since ’06 vs. Dodgers starter Jon Garland

Jason Kubel: .500 (11-for-22) since ’06 vs. Tigers starter Rick Porcello

Laynce Nix: .636 (7-for-11) since ’06 vs. Phillies starter Roy Oswalt

Chase Utley: .440 (11-for-25) since ’06 vs. Nationals starter John Lannan

Raul Ibanez: .550 (10-for-22)  since ’06 vs. Nationals starter John Lannan

Chipper Jones: .625 (5-for-8) since ’06 vs. Padres starter Clayton Richard

Feeling kinda spicy?

Austin Jackson: .455 (5-for-11) since ’06 vs. Twins starter Scott Baker

You’ll thank me later …

Aramis Ramirez: .179 (5-for-28) since ’06 vs. Astros starter Brett Myers

Ramon Hernandez: .158 (3-for-19) since ’06 vs. Brewers starter Shaun Marcum

Ryan Howard: .167 (5-for-30) since ’06 vs. Nationals starter John Lannan

Jacoby Ellsbury: .182 (2-for-11) since ’06 vs. White Sox starter Gavin Floyd

Leaderboard time!

Current leader jsmnapoli rode the Adrian Gonzalez Express into 27-Game Station yesterday and now sits just three games shy of our season leader. Now is about the time to cross any player who’s walked more than three times this season off your safe picks list, Mr./Ms. Napoli. Trust us — the Olde English is never wrong.

 

Top MLB streakers 

Ryan Theriot: 14 games

Yunel Escobar:  12 games

Hunter Pence: 12 games

Brendan Ryan: 11 games

Chase Headley:  10 games

Home Run Beat the Streak pick:

Hunter Pence: (7 HR this season) vs. Cubs starter Doug Davis

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