And we’re off to a rollicking start!

Yesterday’s three most popular choices — Derek Jeter, Martin Prado and Albert Pujols — combined for a fat 0-for-11 and killed over 35 percent of your streaks before they even got started.

Come on, Streakers. We’ll take responsibility for Prado’s shenanigans against Livan “On a Prayer” Hernandez, but the rest of you have no excuse. While reaching 57 games is going to be tough, summiting Mount One should be relatively doable.

On the bright side, we won’t see Clayton Kershaw again for another four days. Did you see the stuff that dude was working with last night? We recommend steering clear of all Giants hitters this weekend, just because they’ll be in the same building as The Claw.

Without further Freddy Adu …

 

Friday’s picks:

Oh, hello there …

• Shin-Soo Choo: .385 AVG (10-for-26) lifetime vs. White Sox starter Mark Buehrle

• Omar Infante: .533 AVG (8-for-15) lifetime vs. Mets starter Mike Pelfrey

• David DeJesus: .444 AVG (8-for-18) lifetime vs. Mariners starter Felix Hernandez

Go ahead and take DeJesus against King Felix. C’mon, you know you want to. What’s your streak at right now anyway, like one game?

Feeling kinda spicy?

• Greg Dobbs: .412 AVG (7-for-17) lifetime vs. Mets starter Mike Pelfrey

Marlins fans: go directly to Minor League BTS (coming soon!) — do not pass go — and select Matt Dominguez instead.

You’ll thank me later …

• Pablo Sandoval: .148 AVG (4-for-27) lifetime vs. Dodgers starter Chad Billingsley

• Andre Ethier: .167 AVG (4-for-24) lifetime vs. Giants starter Jonathan Sanchez

 

Saturday’s picks:

Oh, hello there …

• Andre Ethier: .488 AVG (20-for-41) lifetime vs. Giants starter Matt Cain

• Adam Jones: .440 AVG (11-for-25) lifetime vs. Rays starter James Shields

• Ian Kinsler: .435 AVG (10-for-23) lifetime vs. Royals starter Kyle Davies

So to review: Ethier on Friday: Na-na. Ethier on Saturday: Yes, please.

Feeling kinda spicy?

• Ryan Doumit: .533 AVG (8-for-15) lifetime vs. Cubs starter Carlos Zambrano

You’ll thank me later …

• Adrian Beltre: .143 AVG (5-for-25) lifetime vs. Red Sox starter John Lackey

• Asdrubal Cabrera: .174 AVG (4-for-23) lifetime vs. White Sox starter Edwin Jackson

 

Sunday’s picks:

Oh, hello there …

• Hanley Ramirez: .500 AVG (6-for-12) lifetime vs. Mets starter R.A. Dickey

• Jay Bruce: .438 AVG (7-for-16) lifetime vs. Brewers starter Randy Wolf

• Bobby Abreu: .500 AVG (5-for-10) lifetime vs. Royals starter Bruce Chen

Feeling kinda spicy?

• Jonny Gomes: .625 AVG (10-for-16) lifetime vs. Brewers starter Randy Wolf

You’ll thank me later …

• Rickie Weeks: .120 AVG (3-for-25) lifetime vs. Reds starter Bronson Arroyo

• Nick Markakis: .125 AVG (2-for-16) lifetime vs. Rays starter Wade Davis

 

Leaderboard time!

Yeah, we get it — it was all a big misunderstanding. You rolled into Five Guys with four of your boys, got all those toppings on the house and then told the cashier you’re good for the bill in 56 days. She became agitated, your boys became agitated, the police became involved and now the judge is throwing around big words like “shoplifting” and “disturbing the peace.” And worst of all, he’s refusing to accept a printout of your Mark Teixeira BTS pick from yesterday with the words “plus 56 more days” scrawled on it as a substitute for bail money.

 

Top MLB streakers

• Mark Ellis: 13 games

• Mike Stanton: 11 games

• Justin Smoak: 10 games

• Drew Stubbs: 9 games

The BTS Report’s official position of not recognizing multiseason streaks remains in place. Get to the back of the line, Ellis — no cutsies here.

Hiyoooo, Streakers!

After a long, dark, cold offseason, the time of reckoning is upon us: MLB.com Beat the Streak has returned for an 11th season. And the stakes have never been higher.

Presented by Scotts this year, BTS takes just 15 seconds a day to play. All you have to do is pick one player who you think will get a hit during today’s games. Pick correctly, and you have a streak. Beat Joe DiMaggio’s 56-game hitting streak by picking correctly 57 days in a row, and you could win an all-time BTS record $5,600,000 prize.

Yes, that’s $5.6 million in U.S. currency. That number has more zeroes than a Roy Halladay line score. You can make a pick right here!

Last season, two Streakers reached 43 games — a mere two weeks away from Internet immortality and some serious pocket change. Is there a 50-gamer lurking out there this year? The official BTS Report Magic 8 Ball says: “It is decidedly so.” There you have it, undeniable proof.

Anyway, the BTS Report will be along for the ride every weekday of the regular season. Check back for picks of the day, pro tips, riveting tales of hitting streaks past (Streak of the Week!) and oh so much more.

Now, in the words of both Marvin Gaye and Judge Mills Lane: “Let’s get it on!”

Thursday’s picks:

Oh, hello there …

• Martin Prado: .478 AVG (11-for-23) lifetime vs. Nationals starter Livan Hernandez

• Miguel Cabrera: .538 AVG (7-for-13) lifetime vs. Yankees starter CC Sabathia

• Scott Rolen: .636 AVG (7-for-11) lifetime vs. Brewers starter Yovani Gallardo

• Brian McCann: .389 AVG (7-for-18) vs. Nationals starter Livan Hernandez

• Derek Jeter: .368 AVG (7-for-19) lifetime vs. Tigers starter Justin Verlander

 

Feeling kinda spicy?

• Alex Gordon: .364 AVG (4-for-11) lifetime vs. Angels starter Jered Weaver

We’ve been waiting four years for the Gordon hype train to roll into Superstar Station. Maybe today is the day. Probably not, but maybe.

 

You’ll thank me later …

• Mark Teixeira: .059 AVG (1-for-17) lifetime vs. Tigers starter Justin Verlander

• Matt Kemp: .100 AVG (2-for-20) lifetime vs. Giants starter Tim Lincecum

• Prince Fielder: .143 AVG (2-for-14) lifetime vs. Reds starter Edinson Volquez

• Buster Posey: .111 AVG (1-for-9) lifetime vs. Dodgers starter Clayton Kershaw

 

Leaderboard time!

For today and today only, you are all atop the leaderboard. Enjoy it while it lasts.

 

Top MLB streakers

You know what’s lame? The multi-season hit streak. Opening Day is a fresh start, a tabula rasa (raised table?), if you will. But if you must know, these players technically carry over a little somethin’-somethin’ from October:

• Mark Ellis: 13 games

• Mike Stanton: 11 games

• Justin Smoak: 10 games

• Drew Stubbs: 8 games