It was a big gravy train in Streakland yesterday, as six of the top seven picks each got hits to combine to extend the streaks of about 40 percent of the whole wide world.
Justin Morneau was far and away the biggest knight in shining armor, single handedly upping the streaks of a ridiculous 19.7 percent of our users just by his lonesome self.
We have reached Memorial Day weekend. Memorial Day weekend is glorious.
There will be tons of traveling, family time, frisbees, etc. But, really, all anybody cares about are the BBQs, hot dogs, hamburgers and the 43 percent chance of baked beans being involved. And baked beans are spectacular.
Anyway, this is no time to lose your focus because you are preoccupied trying to see how many skirt steaks you can fit in your mouth.
The key is to make all your weekend selections beforehand so you can live in a worry-free, skirt-steak self-gorging world.
And isn’t that the kind of world you want to live in?
On to the weekend picks.
Oh, hello there …
? Chipper Jones: .524 (11-for-21) lifetime vs. Pirates starter Zach Duke
? Nick Markakis: .450 AVG (9-for-20) lifetime vs. Blue Jays starter Shaun Marcum
? Ryan Braun: .538 AVG (7-for-13) lifetime vs. Mets starter Johan Santana
? Carlos Lee: .405 AVG (15-for-37) lifetime vs. Reds starter Aaron Harang
? Manny Ramirez: .375 AVG (6-for-16) lifetime vs. Rockies starter Aaron Cook
? Conor Jackson: .563 AVG (9-for-16) lifetime vs. Giants starter Jonathan Sanchez
? Stephen Drew: .636 AVG (7-for-11) lifetime vs. Giants starter Todd Wellemeyer
? Dustin Pedroia: .571 AVG (5-for-14) lifetime vs. Royals starter Gil Meche
? Ryan Ludwick: .421 AVG (8-for-19) lifetime vs. Cubs starter Ryan Dempster
? Brian McCann: .412 AVG (7-for-17) lifetime vs. Phillies starter Joe Blanton
? Todd Helton: .474 AVG (9-for-19) lifetime vs. Giants starter Tim Lincecum
? Ichiro Suzuki: .353 AVG (6-for-17) lifetime vs. Twins starter Francisco Liriano
Feeling kinda spicy?
? Ramon Hernandez: .385 AVG (5-for-13) lifetime vs. Astros starter Wandy Rodriguez. Duck …
? Geoff Blum: .600 AVG (12-for-20) lifetime vs. Reds starter Aaron Harang. Duck …
? Skip Schumaker: .419 AVG (13-for-31) lifetime vs. Cubs starter Ryan Dempster. Duck …
? David DeJesus: .439 AVG (9-for-21) lifetime vs. Angels starter Ervin Santana. Goose!
You’ll thank me later …
? Miguel Cabrera: .167 AVG (3-for-18) lifetime vs. Athletics starter Ben Sheets
? Chase Utley: .167 AVG (2-for-12) lifetime vs. Marlins starter Chris Volstad
? Kevin Youkilis: .100 AVG (1-for-10) lifetime vs. Royals starter Zack Greinke
? Joe Mauer: .091 AVG (1-for-11) lifetime vs. Rangers starter C.J. Wilson
? Troy Tulowitzki: .111 AVG (2-for-18) lifetime vs. Dodgers starter Clayton Kershaw
? Shane Victorino: .182 AVG (4-for-22) lifetime vs. Marlins starter Anibal Sanchez
? Troy Glaus: .095 AVG (2-for-21) lifetime vs. Phillies starter Joe Blanton
? Brad Hawpe: .231 AVG (6-for-26) lifetime vs. Giants starter Tim Lincecum
Mark Teixeira’s 2-for-4 evening bumped “kneetgma”‘s streak to an impressive 27 games. “kneetgma” is now officially 47.4 percent on the way to having $3,000,000. Also known as roughly what “MacGruber” took in at the box office last weekend.
Top MLB streakers
? Adam Jones: 13 games
? Travis Hafner: 12 games
? Michael Young: 12 games
? Troy Tulowitzki: 11 games
? Robinson Cano: 10 games
? Jeff Mathis: 10 games (DL)