Challenge: If Stephen Colbert can make more correct Beat the Streak picks than the BTS Report in a Monday-Sunday period, he gets to run the official Twitter account of Major League Baseball — @MLB — for 24 hours.
Someone call stadium security, because we’ve got a streaker on the loose.
Oh, and that streaker is us. Yeah, kiddies, Albert Pujols banged out four hits yesterday against the Cubs, meaning that the Report is officially 2-0 in the Colbert Challenge.
Did we drop trou and go for a celebratory au naturel jaunt around the neighborhood after Big Al’s first-inning single off Carlos Zambrano? Well, that’s for us to know, and you to find out … possibly from the crime notes of our local newspaper.
As for Mr. Colbert, he continues to sit idle. Like many a college student on summer vacation, he impassively surveys the fun and games below from his perch atop the lifeguard chair. Only the occasional whistle twirl signals any life at all behind the aviators. Is he just bored, or does he think he actually belongs up there above the fray? Take the plunge, Stephen — the water couldn’t be nicer.
Well, we guess it could be if you weren’t already down 2-0.
BTS Report Wednesday pick: Ichiro Suzuki
BTS Report record: 2-0
Stephen Colbert record: 0-0
(Make a BTS pick)
Oh, hello there …
Nick Markakis: .464 (13-for-28) since ’06 vs. Mariners starter Felix Hernandez
Mark Teixeira: .545 (6-for-11) since ’06 vs. Royals starter Bruce Chen
Adrian Beltre: .438 (7-for-16) since ’06 vs. A’s starter Gio Gonzalez
Adam Lind: .556 (10-for-18) since ’06 vs. Red Sox starter John Lackey
Kelly Johnson: .571 (8-for-14) since ’06 vs. Giants starter Jonathan Sanchez
Todd Helton: .462 (6-for-13) since ’06 vs. Mets starter Jon Niese
Yunel Escobar: .571 (4-for-7) since ’06 vs. Red Sox starter John Lackey
Feeling kinda spicy?
Alex Gonzalez: .600 (6-for-10) since ’06 vs. Nationals starter John Lannan
John Buck: .421 (8-for-19) since ’06 vs. Phillies starter Cliff Lee
You’ll thank me later …
Kevin Youkilis: .154 (2-for-13) since ’06 vs. Blue Jays starter Jesse Litsch
Jay Bruce: .050 (1-for-20) since ’06 vs. Astros starter Wandy Rodriguez
Hunter Pence: .176 (3-for-17) since ’06 vs. Reds starter Edinson Volquez
Alex Gordon: .133 (2-for-15) since ’06 vs. Yankees starter A.J. Burnett
Shane Victorino: .174 (4-for-23) since ’06 vs. Marlins starter Ricky Nolasco
Ethier, Ethier, Ethier. We’re a little tired of Andre the Giant, but Streakland apparently is not. More than 16 percent of you — and six of the leaderboard’s top eight — rolled with him last night and were rewarded with a 2-for-5. Current leaders emmanuel and thesantos26 sit at 26 games a.k.a. 46.6 percent of the way to $5.6 million. It’s like you already have $2.6 in your pocket already, except not at all.
Top MLB streakers
Jacoby Ellsbury: 19 games
Hunter Pence: 14 games
Shane Victorino: 13 games
Marlon Byrd: 11 games
(Make a BTS pick)