It was an absolute, certifiable, kid-tested, mother-approved, all-you-can-eat Gravy Train Wednesday in Streakland.

A festively plump 14 of the day’s 15 most popular selections each got
hits, flash forwarding the streaks of 58 percent of the BTS galaxy.

Rickie Weeks was the day’s Mr. Freeze, as his 0-for-5 performance ice blasted 1.7 percent of the field, Mortal Kombat-style.

You know what — I’ll take the blame for that. I had no business putting
a lifetime .252 hitter up on the Picks of the Day page, even if his
numbers vs. the opposing pitcher were certifiably stellar. Whoopshies!

Time for Thursday’s Picks:

Oh, hello there …

? Hanley Ramirez: .455 AVG (10-for-22) lifetime vs. Phillies starter Roy Oswalt

? Andre Ethier: .533 AVG (8-for-15) lifetime vs. Padres starter Kevin Correia

? Brian McCann: .421 AVG (8-for-19) lifetime vs. Giants starter Tim Lincecum

Feeling kinda spicy?

? Wilson Valdez: .500 AVG (5-for-10) lifetime vs. Marlins starter Chris Volstad

You’ll thank me later …

? Josh Hamilton: .179 AVG (5-for-28) lifetime vs. Mariners starter Felix Hernandez

? Jayson Werth: .071 AVG (1-for-14) lifetime vs. Marlins starter Chris Volstad

? Nick Markakis: .182 AVG (2-for-11) Angels starter Dan Haren

Leaderboard time!

“gfc2112” and “randy.zimmer” foxtrotted their way to 29-game streaks,
after Evan Longoria and Joe Mauer each collected hits, respectively.

These two leaders are each one hit away from getting a free month’s worth of MLB.tv.

That’s a pretty cool prize.

Except when compared to $3,000,000.

Top MLB streakers

? David Ortiz: 13 games

? Raul Ibanez: 12 games

? Stephen Drew: 11 games

? Hunter Pence: 11 games

? Juan Pierre: 11 games 

One day after a stagnation nation stymied streaks across the hemisphere, Streakers recovered in a big way.

Six of the seven most popular selections from Tuesday each laced hits,
combining to extend the streaks of almost 30 percent of the wondrous
world wide web.

Atta boy!

Tuesday’s biggest doomsday device came in the form of Troy Tulowizki,
whose 0-for-3 night shocked and awed 4.7 percent of the field.

Two things before we get to Wednesday’s picks:

1) My mistake in featuring Johnny Damon as a Pick of the Day yesterday.
Totally forgot that the Tigers had a doubleheader. Yes, I’m a Tigers
fan. This is what happens when you give up on your team after they get
obliterated by injuries and field Minor Leaguers for weeks at a time.

2) No, you can’t really combine your streaks with others and split the $3,000,000. Well, you can’t anymore.
I eliminated that option once I realize that my highest streak was so
small no one would ever want to join forces with me. And if I can’t wear
gold-plated slippers the rest of my life, no one can.

Sorry, kiddos!

Time for Wednesday’s Picks:

Oh, hello there …

? Brian McCann: .441 AVG (15-for-34) lifetime vs. Mets starter Mike Pelfrey

? Carl Crawford: .500 (5-for-10) lifetime vs. Twins starter Scott Baker

? Brian Roberts: .370 AVG (10-for-27) lifetime vs. Angels starter Ervin Santana

? Pablo Sandoval: .400 AVG (10-for-25) lifetime vs. Rockies starter Ubaldo Jimenez

? Jorge Posada: .467 AVG (7-for-15) lifetime vs. Blue Jays starter Shaun Marcum

Feeling kinda spicy?

? Jose Lopez: .500 AVG (8-for-16) lifetime vs. Rangers starter C.J. Wilson

? Julio Lugo: .438 AVG (7-for-16) lifetime vs. Angels starter Ervin Santana

You’ll thank me later …

? Johnny Damon: .154 AVG (4-for-26) lifetime vs. White Sox starter Edwin Jackson

? Hunter Pence: .083 AVG (1-for-12) lifetime vs. Cardinals starter Chris Carpenter

? Corey Hart: .148 AVG (4-for-27) lifetime vs. Cubs starter Ryan Dempster

? Jayson Werth: .125 AVG (2-for-16) lifetime vs. Marlins starter Anibal Sanchez

Leaderboard time!

“nycgreg” bit the dust after A-Rod’s 0-fer, which means that “gfc2112”
and “randy.zimmer” have first place to their lonesome selves with
respective 28-game streaks.

28 games is an incredible accomplishment.

Now all they need to do is just double it and add one.

Rinse and repeat.

Top MLB streakers

? Yorvit Torrealba: 15 games

? David Ortiz: 12 games

? Raul Ibanez: 11 games

? Stephen Drew: 10 games

? Hunter Pence: 10 games

? Juan Pierre: 10 games

? Alexei Ramirez: 10 games 

It was a stagnant BTS Nation once again on Monday, as a jaw-dropping 23.5
percent of Streakers put on their floaties and treaded water for the
day thanks to an 0-for-0 performance from Joey Votto, who was withheld
from the lineup due to a sprained wrist.

Of course, the only thing worse than pressing the pause button on your
streak is pressing the reset button. Apparently, Robinson Cano did not
get this memo, as the Yankees second baseman went 0-for-3 to wipe away
the streaks of 12.3 percent of our users all by his lonesome self.

For those keeping track at home, that’s over 35 percent of Streakland who did not pass “Go”, or collect $200.

Let’s hope Tuesday is a little better.

Time for Tuesday’s Picks:

Oh, hello there …

? Troy Tulowitzki: .467 AVG (7-for-15) lifetime vs. Giants starter Jonathan Sanchez

? Johnny Damon: .409 AVG (9-for-22) since ’05 vs. White Sox starter Mark Buehrle

? Pat Burrell: .591 AVG (13-for-22) lifetime vs. Rockies starter Aaron Cook

? Nelson Cruz: .500 AVG (4-for-8) lifetime vs. Mariners starter Jason Vargas

? Torii Hunter: .417 AVG (5-for-12) lifetime vs. Orioles starter Jeremy Guthrie

Feeling kinda spicy?

? Luis Castillo: .471 AVG (8-for-17) since ’05 vs. Braves starter Derek Lowe

You’ll thank me later …

? Miguel Cabrera: .000 AVG (0-for-12) lifetime vs. White Sox starter Mark Buehrle

? Robinson Cano: .154 AVG (2-for-13) lifetime vs. Blue Jays starter Ricky Romero

? Joey Votto: .188 AVG (3-for-16) lifetime vs. Pirates starter Paul Maholm

Leaderboard time!

Monday’s leaderboard … leader, “bigdadddy” was one of Cano’s many victims.

This means that we have a pu pu platter of 27-gamers atop our new
leaderboard, as “gfc2112”, “nycgreg” and “randy.zimmer” are the
temporary rulers of the universe.

If they weren’t so greedy they’d just combine their streaks together for
an 81-game streak and just split the $3,000,00 three ways.

Top MLB streakers

? Yorvit Torrealba: 15 games

? Delmon Young: 12 games

? David Ortiz: 11 games

? Raul Ibanez: 10 games

Four tied with nine-game streaks.                                     

Robinson Cano and Ichiro Suzuki tagteamed for an 0-fer of doom for
Streakers nationwide on Sunday, obliterating the streaks of 12.3 percent
of all users in their destructive paths.

But the fun don’t stop there.

In a strange turn of events, Andre Ethier, Joe Mauer, Martin Prado and
Josh Hamilton were each vacant from their squads’ respective lineups,
pressing the pause button on a combined 15.7 percent of all Streakers.

Did they all join Amare Stoudemire in the Dead Sea? Because that’s a lot of floating around.

Will our Streakers be able to bounce back in a short 10-game-slate
Monday? Or will they toil in the misery of slumpville along with Don
Draper and Albert Haynesworth?

All that and more in Monday’s Picks:

Oh, hello there …

? Carl Crawford: .400 AVG (10-for-25) lifetime vs. Twins starter Carl Pavano

? Shin-Soo Choo: .500 AVG (6-for-12) lifetime vs. Red Sox starter John Lackey

? Carlos Beltran: .371 AVG (23-for-62) lifetime vs. Braves starter Tim Hudson

? Matt Diaz: .538 AVG (14-for-26) lifetime vs. Mets starter Johan Santana

? Marco Scutaro: .476 AVG (10-for-21) lifetime vs. Indians starter Fausto Carmona

Feeling kinda spicy?

? Alcides Escobar: .500 AVG (5-for-10) lifetime vs. Cubs starter Randy Wells

You’ll thank me later …

? Derek Jeter: .077 AVG (1-for-13) lifetime vs. Blue Jays starter Brandon Morrow

? Martin Prado: .167 AVG (3-for-18) lifetime vs. Mets starter Johan Santana

? Evan Longoria: .091 AVG (1-for-11) lifetime vs. Twins starter Carl Pavano

Leaderboard time!

User “bigdadddy” gets the biggest piece of chicken at the dinner table
after escaping the weekend atop our leaderboard with a 30-game streak.

“bigdadddy” is now 27 games away from the $3,000,000 and, ya know, I think he should go for it. Why not, right?

Top MLB streakers

? Justin Upton: 17 games

? Yorvit Torrealba: 14 games

? Jose Tabata: 12 games

? Delmon Young: 11 games

? Raul Ibanez: 10 games

? David Ortiz: 10 games 

When playing Beat the Streak we do much more than learn about baseball. We learn about life.

We learn why it’s important to not believe in jinxes. We learn why you
should strike while the iron is hot and take your 15 minutes of obscure
fame when you can.

And we learn never to take Martin Prado on the road, where he is a .286 hitter this year.

Whoops!

I’m just so, so, so, SO sorry this whole streak thing didn’t work out for you, Richard Jucksch. It’s really a shame.

Our date of destiny was already painted in the canvas of my dreams, just
waiting for our Ed McMahon moment — arriving at your doorstop, wearing
a tux, holding your over-sized $3,000,000 check. Hugging you. Hugging
your loved ones. Hugging you while hugging your loved ones.

It’s truly been a pleasure dancing with you, hand-in-hand, during our
blissful 39-day journey. This is no time to regret your mistakes of the
past. Rather, this is a time of excitement as you head off on your new
odyssey.

Just remember that every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.

I just made that line up. Just now — on the spot. It just came me.

Like it?

Time for the weekend’s picks

Oh, hello there …

Friday

? Michael Young: .400 AVG (20-for-50) lifetime vs. Angels starter Ervin Santana

? Derrek Lee: .778 AVG (7-for-9) lifetime vs. Rockies starter Jeff Francis

? Carlos Lee: .529 AVG (9-for-17) lifetime vs. Brewers starter Manny Parra

Saturday

? Matt Kemp: .447 AVG (17-for-43) lifetime vs. Giants starter Barry Zito

? Alex Rodriguez: .467 AVG (7-for-15) lifetime vs. Rays starter Matt Garza

? Corey Hart: .419 AVG (13-for-31) lifetime vs.Astros starter Wandy Rodriguez

Sunday

? Andre Ethier: .514 AVG (18-for-35) lifetime vs. Giants starter Matt Cain

? Robinson Cano: .438 AVG (14-for-32) lifetime vs. Rays starter James Shields

? Albert Pujols: .421 AVG (16-for-38) lifetime vs. Pirates starter Zach Zuke

Feeling kinda spicy?

Friday

? Jose Lopez: .429 AVG (9-for-21) lifetime vs. Twins starter Scott Baker

Saturday

? Mike Napoli: .478 AVG (11-for-23) lifetime vs. Rangers starter Scott Feldman

Sunday

? Yadier Molina: .345 AVG (10-for-29) lifetime vs. Pirates starter Zach Duke

You’ll thank me later …

Friday

? Josh Hamilton: .111 AVG (2-for-18) lifetime vs. Angels starter Ervin Santana

? James Loney: .174 AVG (4-for-23) lifetime vs. Giants starter Tim Lincecum

Saturday

? Delmon Young: .167 AVG (2-for-12) lifetime vs. Mariners starter Felix Hernandez

? Mark Teixeira: .077 AVG (1-for-13) lifetime vs. Rays starter Matt Garza

Sunday

? Nick Swisher: .176 AVG (3-for-17) lifetime vs. Rays starter James Shields

? Adrian Beltre: .240 AVG (6-for-25) lifetime vs. Tigers starter Justin Verlander

Leaderboard time!

After Prado’s Mortal Kombat-style fatality of our leader, Jucksch, our
new pious sage heading into the weekend is “vads15” and his 29-game
streak.

Hey, 29! That’s the same number Ian Kay reached before he blew his
once-in-a-lifetime chance at fame and a life full of amazingness and
(probably) hummus.

Top MLB streakers

? Nelson Cruz: 17 games

? Justin Upton: 14 games

? Michael Cuddyer: 13 games

? Chris Johnson: 12 games

? Yorvit Torrealba: 12 games 

Joe Mauer’s 2-for-4 afternoon teleported “richard.jucksch” — our
leader — and his streak from 37 games to 38. Jucksch is now six days
away from taking the conch from the immortal Dick George atop our
season-long Beat the Streak Leaderboard.

Perhaps more importantly, Jucksch is still ignoring me and my e-mail,
likely — and understandably — in fear of jinxing his impressive run.

This brings up an interesting internal dilemma:

Given the historical data and precedent, it’s unlikely Jucksch will
actually Beat the Streak. I mean, I don’t mean to be the Debbie Downer
here but I’ve read this story too many times and have seen how this one
turns out. Just ask Ian Kay.

So unless this somehow transforms into one of those mind-blowing “Choose
Your Own Adventure” books I was obsessed with as a 10-year-old,
Jucksch’s 15 minutes of (relative) fame is squarely on the clock.

Which brings us to the dilemma: Should Jucksch accept his likely fate
and decide to play nice in the sandbox with me and respond to my e-mail
while his story is still relatively relevant?

Or, should he go for the gold, keep up his mime impression and laugh at the face of the several jinxes before him?

Only time will tell.

Time for Thursday’s picks

Oh, hello there …

? Buster Posey: 21-game hitting streak; has never faced Marlins starter Anibal Sanchez

? Nyjer Morgan: .563 AVG (9-for-16) lifetime vs. Braves starter Derek Lowe

? Raul Ibanez: .350 AVG (7-for-20) lifetime vs. D-backs starter Joe Saunders

? Chipper Jones: .464 AVG (13-for-28) lifetime vs. Nationals starter Scott Olsen

? Cristian Guzman: .571 AVG (8-for-14) lifetime vs. Braves starter Derek Lowe

? Troy Tulowitzki: .545 AVG (6-for-11) lifetime vs. Pirates starter Paul Maholm

Feeling kinda spicy?

? Alberto Gonzalez: .455 AVG (5-for-11) lifetime vs. Braves starter Derek Lowe

You’ll thank me later …

? Troy Glaus: .167 AVG (2-for-12) lifetime vs. Nationals starter Scott Olsen

? Chone Figgins: .067 AVG (1-for-15) last five years vs. White Sox starter Freddy Garcia

? Nick Markakis: .222 AVG (2-for-9) lifetime vs. Royals starter Kyle Davies

Leaderboard time!

A full nine games behind Juksch is “Grumps1945”, who is sitting pretty with a 29-game streak.

If 1945 represents the year Grumps was born, that most likely makes him
65-years-old. My dad is right around that age and the thought that he’d
be able to dominate this game at this juncture is borderline
mind-blowing to me. So keep it up Grumps!

Top MLB streakers

? Buster Posey: 21 games

? Nelson Cruz: 16 games

? Scott Podsednik: 15 games

? Justin Upton: 13 games

? Michael Cuddyer: 13 games

? Matt Holliday: 13 games 

Let’s just pretend Monday never happened, k?

Here’s the plan:

Create a diversion with our MLB.com fantasy tech team (Hey, guys! Target is having a sale on all Texas Instrument calculators!!),
while I MacGruber around with their computers and flip yesterday’s
results from the system database with the NBA Jam cheatcode for big
head. Sound good?

Hey, desperate times call for desperate measures, and after Monday’s
three most popular selections (Robinson Cano, Alex Rodriguez, Joey
Votto) each went hitless to zap the streak of an astounding 36.4 percent
of all of Streakland, it’s officially Desperation Tuesday.

Time for Tuesday’s picks

Oh, hello there …

? Derrek Lee: .500 AVG (17-for-34) lifetime vs. Astros starter Brett Myers

? Ichiro Suzuki: .409 AVG (9-for-22) lifetime vs. White Sox starter Gavin Floyd

? Billy Butler: .400 AVG (12-for-30) lifetime vs. Twins starter Carl Pavano

? Brian Roberts: .500 AVG (5-for-10) lifetime vs. Blue Jays starter Ricky Romero

? Ryan Braun: .500 AVG (5-for-10) lifetime vs. Reds starter Edinson Volquez

? Hanley Ramirez: .400 AVG (6-for-15) lifetime vs. Giants starter Matt Cain

? David Ortiz: .350 AVG (7-for-20) lifetime vs. Angels starter Jered Weaver

Feeling kinda spicy?

? John Buck: .381 AVG (8-for-21) lifetime vs. Orioles starter Kevin Millwood

You’ll thank me later ...

? Ben Zobrist: .083 AVG (1-for-12) lifetime vs. Tigers starter Justin Verlander

? Torii Hunter: .136 AVG (3-for-22) lifetime vs. Red Sox starter John Lackey

? Hunter Pence: .192 AVG (5-for-26) lifetime vs. Cubs starter Ted Lilly

Leaderboard time!

“richard.jucksch” escaped the Cano/Jeter/Votto deathtrap by picking Joe
Mauer, who went 5-for-5 last night with a homer and seven RBIs. Way to
get the fans on your side and show off, Jucksch. What next, you gonna
add another consonant to the end of your last name?

Anyway, with Mauer’s hit fiesta, Jucksch is now cruising with a 36-game streak. You’ll be hearing from me today, Richard.

MLB.com’s Ian Kay wrote a great piece
this morning on Florida’s top prospect Logan Morrison, who just got
called up to take Chris Coghlan’s starting spot after a shaving cream
incident gone horribly wrong.

I hate when that happens.

Oh, Kay also rode Derrek Lee to up his streak to 29 games. Rumor has it
that if Kay reaches 30, he’ll be guest blogging tomorrow. And by rumor, I
mean he just told me that.

Top MLB streakers

? Buster Posey: 19 games

? Nelson Cruz: 14 games

? Scott Podsednik: 13 games

? Justin Upton: 12 games

? Michael Cuddyer: 11 games

? Matt Holliday: 11 games

? Luke Scott: 11 games 

Sorry if all your keyboards got a little messy, but it was Gravy Train Sunday all across Streakland!

The day’s six most popular kids in class each got hits, as Robinson Cano
{7.9 percent), Josh Hamilton (7.4), Miguel Cabrera (6.5), Jayson Werth
(5.1), Mark Teixeira (4.4) and Joey Votto (4.0) combined to extend the
streaks of 38.4 percent of the galaxy.

But the lesson of the day is that BTS-ers really, really love Miguel Cabrera.

Or they just:

? Didn’t realize the Tigers were scheduled for a double-header

or

? Knew about the twinbill but were too lazy to go to their iPhone/computer and make the change (guilty!)

Alas, this is reason No. 4,421 that Miggy is my Jumpstart Pick.

Time for Monday’s picks

Oh, hello there …

? Alex Rodriguez: .375 AVG (9-for-24) lifetime vs. Indians starter Jake Westbrook

? Asdrubal Cabrera: .467 AVG (7-for-15) lifetime vs. Yankees starter Javier Vazquez

? Vernon Wells: .455 AVG (5-for-11) lifetime vs. Orioles starter Brad Bergesen

Feeling kinda spicy?

? Mark Kotsay: .368 AVG (7-for-19) lifetime vs. Mariners starter Felix Hernandez

You’ll thank me later …

? Hanley Ramirez: .077 AVG (1-for-13) lifetime vs. Giants starter Barry Zito

? Johnny Damon: .125 AVG (2-for-16) lifetime vs. Rays starter Matt Garza

? Kevin Youkilis: .200 AVG (3-for-15) lifetime vs. Angels starter Joel Pineiro

Leaderboard time!

A new leader of Streakland emerged over the weekend, as
“richard.jucksch” is now king of the castle with a 35-gamer after Joey
Votto’s bountiful day at the plate.

One interesting tidbit is that MLB.com’s own Ian Kay — co-creator of the highly informative and super-daffy “Fantasy Goodness” blog — is now sixth on the leaderboard with a 28-game streak, the longest in company history.

Let’s all hope whoever Kay’s selection is tonight goes hitless — the
disparity between his highest streak and mine (11) is slowly killing me,
plus I’d rather not lose my job to some 22-year-old punk.

Top MLB streakers

? Buster Posey: 18 games

? Nelson Cruz: 14 games

? Aubrey Huff: 12 games

? Scott Podsednik: 12 games

? Justin Upton: 12 games