The Shin-Soo Choo-choo train chugged to a perfectly adequate 1-for-5 last night, propelling 9.1 percent of all Streakers one day closer to an epic 57-game victory party.
You could do the cliche thing and just have the party at a McDonald’s with the ball pit, but you really never know what’s in there. Possibly sharks. We prefer backyard style, with balloons and streamers and a moonbounce and a ginormous Funfetti cake with 57 candles on top.
Oh, and also a clown making balloon animals. But not a creepy clown. And he should be able to make other stuff besides animals, like various instruments, so we could have a balloon-instrument air guitar competition during the party.
“Here I go again on my own … goin’ down the only road I’ve ever known!”
Busting out the Whitesnake in an air-guitar competition shows that you understand the spirit of the event, but you’re also there to win.
We’re just spitballing here. Maybe you go a little more classic rock with some Jethro Tull. Not a lot of people will be expecting the balloon jazz flute. On second thought, we may actually need two balloon clowns.
Or you could just have the party at Chuck E. Cheese’s. Your call.
(Make a BTS pick)
Oh, hello there …
• Johnny Damon: .579 AVG (11-for-19) since ’06 vs. White Sox starter Gavin Floyd
• Howard Kendrick: .400 AVG (10-for-25) since ’06 vs. Red Sox starter Josh Beckett
• Maicer Izturis: .400 AVG (10-for-25) since ’06 vs. Red Sox starter Josh Beckett
• David DeJesus: .409 AVG (9-for-22) since ’06 vs. Mariners starter Felix Hernandez
• Gordon Beckham: .625 AVG (5-for-8) since ’06 vs. Rays starter Jeff Niemann
Feeling kinda spicy?
• A.J. Pierzynski: .462 AVG (6-for-13) since ’06 vs. Rays starter Jeff Niemann
You’ll thank me later …
• Bobby Abreu: .191 AVG (9-for-47) since ’06 vs. Red Sox starter Josh Beckett
• Delmon Young: .143 AVG (2-for-14) since ’06 vs. Orioles starter Jeremy Guthrie
• Nick Markakis: .176 AVG (3-for-17) since ’06 vs. Twins starter Scott Baker
• Drew Stubbs: .111 AVG (1-for-9) since ’06 vs. Diamondbacks starter Daniel Hudson
With 21 correct picks in 21 days, Gottaweartheshades keeps on rollin’. What’s the story behind those Wayfarers? We’ll all find out soon enough.
Top MLB streakers
Andre Ethier: 17 games
Alex Gordon: 14 games
Wilson Betemit: 11 games
Robinson Cano: 11 games
Michael Young: 11 games
(Make a BTS pick)